Out of the Darkness, Into the Light
by Forlay
Summary: Captured by the Yeerks, Rachel is put in a cell. Alone. How will she survive?


_Author's Notes: First things first, I need to give credit where credit is due for the inspiration for this piece. I read Bec's wonderful Harry Potter f/f slash story [We All Fall Down][1] (http://www.fanfiction.net/index.fic?action=story-read&storyid=204521) and was obsessed with idea so I kinda piggy backed off her idea. Bec has given me her blessing for this, so please, no flames for plagerizing._   
_Secondly, this story takes place perhaps shortly before 54. It's not set dramatically far in the future, so yes, the Animorphs are all around 15 (my opinion on their ages). This is just me hypothesizing on what could happen before/in 54 based on the knowledge I have of what's going to be happening in the series (which is pretty much nothing)._   
_And finally, the standard disclaimer: KA owns the characters, Disney owns the songs I borrow, and this is f/f slash (not part of my series) so deal with it. :-)_

#  Out of the Darkness, Into the Light

##  By: Forlay

The mind conjures up strange thoughts when under duress.   
Rachel lay flat on her back in her tiny cell, there wasn't much else she could do in the fake dungeon, and was singing Disney songs to fill the silence. 

_I'm gonna be a mighty king_   
_So enemies beware!_

Her voice was hoarse from over use - she was only silent when she was eating and sleeping, and more often than not lately she'd been screaming in her sleep - but anything was better than the silence, the Yeerks' latest strategy for breaking her will. 

_And ready to know what the people know_   
_Ask them my questions_   
_And get some answers_

_Answers would be nice,_ she thought dully, latching on to the random lyric her mind had conjured up. Like, _why am I being held hostage instead of being made a controller?_ And, are_ the others still free? _Or had they fallen in an attempt to be heroes and rescue her when she'd been unable to save herself? What if they had given up and no one ever came, either to save her or attack? 

_It means no worries_   
_For the rest of your days._   
_It's our problem free philosophy_   
_Hakuna Matata!_

But Rachel had accepted she was a prisoner. She didn't like it, but she accepted it and no longer spent her days pounding on the walls, demanding attention from her captors. She knew they were there, because twice a day a hole appeared in the - obviously fake - rock wall and a human or Hork-Bajir hand pushed in a cup of water and a peice of bread. Far from filling, but they obviously didn't want her to starve, either. 

_This is the night_   
_It's a beautiful night_   
_And they call it bella notte_

She had lost track of the days shortly after being dumped in her cell. She had tried to track by when the food was given to her; once when the lights outside were on, once when the lights outside were off. The ammount of light in her cell, which came from an unknown source, always remained constant. But soon she realized that sometimes food would come several times in a row when the lights were on, or off. So either they were giving her food only once a day, or they were messing with her head.   
She'd seen that on a TV show once. A prisoner tried to track the days by the lights when his interrogator came in. Then the interrogator showed the lights meant nothing, they could be turned on and off at random. They'd fucked with the guy then and they were fucking with her now. 

_Even though the sound of it_   
_Is something quite attrocious._   
_If you say it loud enough_   
_You'll always sound precocious_   
_Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!_

So that's why her mind came up with the Disney songs. The Yeerks oculd stop her from tracking the days, but she still had control of her mind, her free will was something they could never take away.   
So she sang the songs that had been permanently ingrained in her head since childhood. Even the ones she hated. 

_It's a small world after all_   
_It's a small world after all_   
_It's a small world after all_   
_It's a small, small world._

And then one day the opening food was usually shoved through opened wider than it had before, the artificial light that flooded the cell blinded Rachel, and before her eyes could adjust to the assault, the door closed again, and Rachel was left in darkness, waiting for her sight to be restored so she could see what had been shoved in with her.   
"Wh-who's there?" a voice called from the darkness.   
"Rachel. Who are you? I can't see in the dark - oomph!" Rachel suddenly found herself on her back, a body on top of her. "Hey, get off!"   
"I can't believe you're still...I mean, every one thought...."   
"First, who are you? Second, get off, I can't breathe."   
Whoever was on Rachel had the good sense to follow her demands in reverse order and immediately rolled off Rachel. "It's Melissa, Rachel."   
Rachel's eyes had adjusted well enough by now that she could just make out the other girl's features. And sure enough, there was no mistaking the delicate features of her face and the petite gymnasts body, clad in a leotard just like what she used to wear in class. "Melissa! Oh, God!" Rachel gave her a hug, making sure the other girl was real.   
"But why? Why you? And why here?"   
"Shortly after you were captured, as I understand it, Marco found me wandering the streets - like a lot of us were by then. He took me back to the base and I became an Animorph. And then...during an attack...I was...."   
"It's okay," Rachel interrupted quickly. She wanted to know what had happened while she'd been locked away, but she didn't want Melissa to suffer a break down while telling. It wouldn't take much to send either of them over the edge.   
"Can you just tell me how long it's been?" Rachel asked quietly.   
"What?"   
"How long have I been in here?"   
Melissa shrugged. "I joined the group two months ago."   
_ Two months? _She'd lived in this hole, barely 10 feet square, for two months? No wonder she could count her ribs by touch, even through her morphing suit, and why her hair hardly felt like actual hair anymore, it was so tangled and greasy. And why it felt like she'd been singing her crazy songs forever. 

_You've got a friend in me._   
_When the road looks_   
_Rough ahead_   
_And you're miles and miles_   
_From your nice warm bed._

To her credit, Melissa adjusted to life in a cell well. Rachel figured she had spent at least a week crying. She'd refused to eat all that time, disgusted by the stale bread and foul water she was given, until one day the Yeerks sent in scrambled eggs, toast and orange juice. Ravenous by then, Rachel had eaten the food, and hadn't had the energy since to risk missing the meager meals she was given. At least she was given fresh bread, the Yeerks must have had an interest in keeping her alive.   
But Melissa didn't do anything like that, it made Rachel wonder what had happened to her outside, what could have prepared her for life as a captive, but she never talked about the war. She talked about the jokes she'd shared with the group, the people she'd met. She even talked about life before the war, gossiping about the girls in gymnastics and school. They lived in totally different worlds. 

_A whole new world_   
_A new fantastic point of view._   
_No one to tell us no_   
_Or where to go_   
_Or say we're only dreaming._

But then one day, Melissa began to talk.   
The lights had reappeared in a regular pattern, so Rachel had resumed her count and figured Melissa had been with her for a week. A week of living in a tiny dungeon-like cell had been what it took to convince Melissa to talk, in bits and pieces.   
"With you alive...only one original Animorph has died," Melissa announced abruptly while they were eating.   
Part of Rachel didn't want to ask, but she needed to know. "Who?"   
"Jake. I-I'm sorry."   
Rachel shrugged. She knew it was bound to happen. Somone had to die, a lot of someone's had to die in a war. It was about time the core group lost someone. Besides, Crayak had been after Jake for...it felt like forever.   
_And he didn't get me in the process. Perhaps there is a god._   
There was silence for the rest of the meal. Neither talked again until after their trays had been taken away. That's when Melissa burst into tears and threw herself to the damp stone floor.   
"I hate this. I hate it! Why can't they just kill us? Or make us controllers? Anything would be better than this!"   
Rachel was stunned for a moment, but she quickly dropped to her knees and tried to quiet Melissa. "This is why, Melissa, I'm sure of it. They want to break us, make us easier to control!" The thought had just come to her, actually, but it sounded good.   
"It'd rather be a controller right now!"   
"No you don't! If you become a controller, then that's one more Animorph they've taken, one more victory for the bastards."   
"But they've already won, don't you see? You were taken, Jake's dead, God alone knows how many others have been killed or captured, human and Hork-Bajir alike. I think the controlled outnumber the free by now."   
"No. No, I refuse to believe it!" Rachel left Melissa's side and went to the other side of the cell. "Admitting defeat makes them stronger. I'd rather live in this cell the rest of my life than admit they've won. Now that you have, you'll probably be taken out with the next meal's tray. They'll take you into the Yeerk Pool, out onto the infestation pier with all the other captured humans. The Hork-Bajir guards will kick your legs out from under you. Your head will be forced down into the sludge -"   
"No!" Melissa had backed against the opposite wall during Rachel's tirade, her knees tucked up to her chest. "Stop it Rachel. I've imagined it enough times as it is, I don't need you adding to the images."   
Rachel slid down her own wall and mirrored Melissa's position on the ground. She didn't want the nightmare images either. But she hadn't had much choice in the matter, had she?   
Rachel didn't know how much time they spent on the floor. Neither seemed to have the energy to even get up and move to the rags that served as beds, let alone continue their argument. Rachel fell asleep while sitting, for the next thing she knew, Melissa was calling her name.   
"What?"   
"Since...since...we don't know what's going to happen to either of us, I figure I should tell you this now."   
"What?"   
"Tobias asked me...well, if I ever saw you, I was supposed to deliver a message from him."   
"What did he say?"   
"He said...he loves you. He misses you and thinks of you all the time and...."   
"And what?"   
"Well, I'm not sure if the next part is exactly appropriate for me to pass on."   
"Please, Melissa, I ahve to know."   
Melissa sighed and crawled across the room so she was next to Rachel. "It was an action. Not a verbal message. He gave it to me...just before I was taken. Well, the battle I was taken in. But he said it was meant for you and wanted me to pass it on."   
"Well?"   
"This." Melissa leaned forward and gave Rachel a kiss.   
Rachel jumped back in shock. Melissa did, too. Neither said anything for a moment, until Melissa spoke. "I'm sorry. I should have just - "   
"No, no. It's alright. I - I asked, didn't I?"   
But neither made a move to sit closer to the other. 

_In this world so full of fear_   
_Full of rage and lies_   
_I can see the truth so clear_   
_In your eyes_   
_So dry your eyes._

The songs were back.   
11 meals had come and gone since The Kiss. About five days had passed without a word between Rachel and Melissa. 

_There you see her_   
_Sittin' there across the way_   
_She don't got a lot to say_   
_But there's something about her_   
_And you don't know why_   
_But you're dyin' to try_   
_You wanna kiss the girl._

Rachel had never been a real emotional person. She'd never been big on physical contact, either. Unless that contact was a punch in the arm. Yet she never realized how much she craved human contact until she'd had it for too brief a time and then it was taken away.   
No, not taken away, witheld. If Melissa had been taken away after her outburst, Rachel was sure she'd have been able to readjust to life on her own. But every day Melissa was still sitting on the opposite side of their cell, ignoring Rachel for the most part, but every once in awhile, Rachel caught Melissa looking at her. 

_But suddenly an angel has smiled at me_   
_And kissed my cheek without a trace of fright_   
_I dare to dream that she_   
_Might even care for me_

So to cope with the new silence, Rachel began singing the songs again. In her head this time, as some of the songs were too close to her own situation, and she didn't want to give Melissa any ideas. 

_Tale as old as time_   
_True as it can be_   
_Barely even friends_   
_Then somebody bends_   
_Unexpectedly._

Their silent war lasted for another two days - so Rachel figured - until one night when Rachel was sleeping. Or trying to. Her dreams kept waking her up lately. Dreams about her and Melissa. They weren't unpleasant...just kind of disturbing. Tobias was still out there waiting for her to come back.   
_Hopefully._   
This time it wasn't a dream that woke Rachel, however. It was the feeling of someone laying down next to her. Rachel turned over and found herself laying face to face with Melissa.   
_Just like the dreams...._   
"I owe you an apology," Melissa whispered. "Seriously. I was out of line."   
Rachel shook her head. "I'm sorry, too. For pushing you away. For over reacting. Forgive me?"   
"If you forgive me."   
"Deal," Rachel said with the first real smile she'd had since being dumped into her cell. 

_Fate is kind_   
_She brings to those who love_   
_The sweet fulfillment of_   
_Their secret longing._

Both the girls began to speak openly about their experiences during the war. Melissa was finally able to tell about the battles fought while Rachel had been locked away - including the fateful battle that ended Jake's life.   
"The others," meaning the remaining four original Animorphs, "were pretty freaked out for awhile. None of them went on any missions, until they finally joined James' group. I guess they didn't feel complete without someone to call leader."   
And Rachel told of her experiences in the war - the secret war, before the governor's announcement, before Rachel's disappearance.   
"That note that you got at gymnastics one day a few years ago, the one saying your father loved you? That was from me. I'd been spying on your dad for a few evenings posing as Fluffer. It was me, not Fluffer, you confided in one evening, saying something to the effect of your parents didn't love you. That's why I wrote it."   
"Why did my dad's Yeerk do such a horrible job of playing the role at home? You say Jake had no idea anything had changed in Tom, yet I could tell you the days Mom and Dad were taken."   
Rachel shrugged. "I never figured that one out. I never saw another controller who did such a pathetic job at posing as a human. Maybe the Yeerks controlling your parents were too arogant, thinking a mere child wouldn't notice - or if she did, there wasn't anything she could do about it. They don't exactly hold humans in high reguard, you know." 

Neither girl could get enough physical contact from the other now. They ate their meals side by side. They practically sat on top of eachother during their long conversations, and at night they slept curled up together. Rachel tried to rationalize her behavior to herself - it _had_ suddenly become colder in their cell - but deep inside she knew there was something more to her relationship with Melissa than she was willing to admit. 

_Who'd'ya think you're kiddin'?_   
_He's the earth and heaven to you_   
_Try to keep it hidden_   
_Honey we can see right through you_   
_Girl you can't conceal it,_   
_We know how you feel and you're thinking of._

Rachel woke suddenly from a nightmare one night. Her own visualization of Jake's death. Not a pretty picture, to put it mildly. She turned over, expecting to have woken Melissa, but the floor next to her was empty.   
"Melissa?"   
"Over here."   
Rachel looked up and across the cell to see Melissa, sitting against the wall with her knees drawn to her chest, looking at Rachel.   
Rachel moved over to her. "What's wrong?"   
Melissa shrugged. "Couldn't sleep. But I didn't want to disturb you."   
"I wouldn't have minded. Really." She shuddered at the memory of her dream.   
"Nightmares again?"   
"Again?" She didn't tell Melissa of her dreams, the images her mind came up with were too private to share.   
Melissa put an arm around Rachel's shoulders. "This isn't the first time I've stayed awake to watch you sleep. The stories are written out on your face."   
"Really? What do you see?"   
Melissa laughed gently. "I don't know exactly what's going on in your head. But I do know that your nightmares have increased since we started talking about the war. If they bother you, maybe we shouldn't talk - "   
"No, we need to keep talking. There's so much I missed...I have to know. I've had nightmares before. I'll live with them."   
They sat in silence for a few minutes, Melissa gently massaging Rachel's shoulder, Rachel holding Melissa's hand, until Melissa spoke again.   
"You do, however, occassionally have some nice dreams. Dreams that...well, sound like they involve me."   
Rachel felt her cheeks grow hot. "What do you mean 'sound'?"   
"You talk in your sleep."   
"Oh, um, well...you know how bizarre dreams can be. They shouldn't be interpretted literally...." her excuses sounded weak, even to herself.   
"It's okay, Rachel. Because truthfully...I've had similar dreams."   
"Really?"   
Melissa nodded. "Yeah. And..it'd be nice if...."   
Rachel didn't let Melissa finish. She pulled Melissa's face close to her own and smothered what Melissa was saying with a long kiss. 

_Can you feel the love tonight?_   
_You needn't look too far_   
_Stealing through the night's uncertainties_   
_Love is where they are._

The first time, they were overcome with such passion that despite their efforts to slow down, to make it last, the whole experience was over too quickly.   
Melissa and Rachel laid together, holding eachother tight, stealing kisses occassionally, until they had regained their strength. This time it was Melissa who took control of their lovemaking. Pinning Rachel on her back, Melissa smothered Rachel's protests with hard kisses.   
The experience was unlike anything Rachel had felt before. Finally, the images from her dreams were becoming reality. Melissa hungrily kissing her way down Rachel's body. The sensation of Melissa's kisses caressing Rachel's stomach, her thighs, almost as if she were avoiding the area Rachel had sought out immediatly on Melissa. But finally Melissa found that too and carefully slipped her tongue inside Rachel, and settled into a steady rythm.   
But it couldn't last forever. Melissa moves back up to lay next to Rachel and the girls fall asleep in eachother's arms. 

_Like a bolt out of the blue_   
_Fate steps in and sees you through_   
_When you wish upon a star_   
_Your dreams come true._

Breakfast had already been delivered when they awoke. It was different this morning. Their bread was warm buttered toast and instead of water they were brought orange juice.   
Ravenous, the girls ate it without hesitation, they didn't wonder about the implications until after the meal was finished.   
"Perhaps...that was our last meal. Like they give to inmates on death row," Melissa said, staring with wide eyes at the empty plates and glasses.   
The thought had crossed Rachel's mind too, but she refused to give the Yeerks power over her by psyching her out. "No, no. Perhaps...perhaps they realized that we couldn't survive on bread and water. They want to keep us alive, so we got a...a treat."   
Melissa nodded slowly, but her eyes didn't look so accepting. 

_I don't know when..._

To take their minds off the possible meaning of their meal, Rachel told Melissa of the songs she'd been singing since she was captured. Melissa laughed at first, but was more than willing to sing along. 

_I don't know how..._

"Sh. Listen," Rachel ordered between songs. For the first time since before Melissa had come to the cell, she heard sounds from outside the gloomy dungeon. Boots on metal. Had they been taken inside a ship? She knew they weren't in a real stone dungeon, that everything was a convincing hologram, but she'd never been able to figure out where she and Melissa were being kept. If it was a ship, no wonder no rescue party had come. 

_But I know something's starting right now..._

But Melissa didn't hear the footsteps. She moved to the otherside of the cell, saying she heard gunfire from outside. Fungire and the sounds of fighting animals. Was it real? Or had they finally gone insane? 

_Watch and you'll see..._

And at the same time, they both heard only silence. No gun shots. No dracon blasts. No footsteps. Nothing. 

_Someday I'll be..._

Rachel and Melissa huddled together in the middle of the cell. Neither was thinking coherantly, as fear had frozen them both. Paralyzed, they sat holding eachother tight.   
The door that usually delivered food opened. Bright light flooded the cell, forcing Rachel to close her eyes and look away.   
"Get them out," a voice said. It sounded familiar, but in this war, it was impossible to tell if it was truly a friend, or if it was a Yeerk.   
Someone steps into the cell and picks both girls up. Rachel reaches out to hold onto Melissa's hand. Thankfully, Melissa is still there. Rachel squeezes her hand and keeps her eyes closed as she's carried out into the light. 

_Part of your world._

   [1]: http://www.fanfiction.net/index.fic?action=story-read&storyid=204521



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